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A few days ago, I negotiated a nutritional crisis, navigated a treacherous jungle, captured the bad guys, and saved the planet (or at least our backyard) from the forces of darkness ... and all that before nine a.m.
No, I'm not a superhero, at least not of the tight-and-cape-wearing variety. But I am a mom to a three year old princess/superhero/detective/picky eater. And that definitely qualifies me to put "supermom" on my resume, even above the more traditional entries of "attorney" and "writer."
Three years ago, my friends used to tease me that I had a secret identity as a superhero, and that a series of superhero novels I was writing at the time were based on my real life adventures. I laughed it off. Sure, I might be a new mom, an attorney, and a novelist, but that was just my life; there wasn't anything amazing about it! I played with the baby in the morning, went off to litigate during the day, played with the baby in the evening, then wrote while the kiddo slept. And still managed to write anywhere from three to five books each year, thus maintaining my pre-daughter level of productivity.
I was organized. I was scheduled. I was smug. I was ... completely and totally delusional.
Children, I soon discovered, have a habit of growing up. Of developing needs that run beyond feeding, playing and napping. Trouble was, each of my three careers -- lawyer, writer, mom -- required and deserved more energy and hours in the day than I had to offer. Time to do a little revising and cutting. Only this time in my life, not in my books.
And so, in June of 2004, I said goodbye to the practice of law, and hello to a new life where my workday was interspersed with child care, grocery store runs, and laundry. Did I miss leaving the practice of law for the more traditional role of mom and the less traditional role of writer? How could I, especially when so many of my legal skills still come in handy every day?
You think negotiating a multimillion dollar settlement is hard? Try negotiating bedtime with a three year old. Interviewing a hostile witness? That's nothing compared to ferreting out the truth about how the purple Magic Marker streaks ended up on the bathroom wallpaper. Determining which expert witness to retain? Try deciding which car seat to buy.
In other words, life imitates life. And life really does imitate art, too. Or, at least, it imitates my art.
Here's the deal: A few months before I quit practicing law, I sold a book featuring a suburban mom with a secret -- she used to be a demon hunter. And now, because demons have infiltrated her small town, she's forced to head back into the work force, conquer the demons, and keep her job a secret from her husband, her teenager, and her toddler.
Can't you just see the parallels?
I mean, I may not be conquering demons from the depths of hell, but if you've ever tried to get a service call out of a furniture company that's refusing to honor the warranty, you're familiar with the demons that inhabit suburbia.
And that's another parallel right there. Immediately after quitting the law job, we moved from very urban Austin, Texas, to very suburban Georgetown, Texas. A wonderful historic square, incredibly friendly people, lots of local businesses ... and lots of wildlife. You want to talk about fighting demons? Trust me. Where the spiders are concerned, they won the battle.
The biggest incident of my life imitating art, though, came with the conundrum of day care. I no longer had to leave the house to go to a job. But I still had to go to a job. And after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, I, like the demon-hunting Kate, made the decision to put my little girl in day care. Talk about battling your personal demons! I wanted her home with me. Wanted to spend the day playing and learning, collecting bugs (just not spiders) and battling bad guys. But the reality is simple: I have contractual commitments as well as an unwritten commitment to my readers. I need to turn in the best books I can write, and that takes concentration and large chunks of time. And as much as I want the kiddo with me, I want her with me. Not being babysat by Barney or Avatar or Kim Possible.
Like the stories I write, my personal wrangling with the issue of day care has a happy ending. My daughter adores school, thinks her teacher hung the moon, and has made some great friends. I've also seen elements of her personality that I otherwise would likely have missed until kindergarten (the kid's a social butterfly, a bit of a ham, a natural leader, and has great social skills). And because I have large chunks of time to focus on my books, I'm able to keep her home with me on some days and pick her up early on others. We've ended up with tons of quality time. And while my husband and I would both prefer quality and quantity, one of my personal demons is paying those pesky bills.
The truth is that every parent has to do the best they can. For me, that means doing my job as efficiently as I can so that I can have as much time as possible with my daughter. And the really neat thing? The job is so much a part of me that it feeds our relationship. Stories are a part of our life. We tell them, act them, live them. In any given day, my daughter and I might be secret agents, superheroes or kitty cats. We might have a tea party, visit the secret clubhouse, or swim in a lake (conveniently located in our living room). It's a challenge and a joy. And you know what? I wouldn't change a thing. For a woman who edits her books incessantly, editing of my life really isn't necessary, not where my kid is concerned.
I've been doing the mom gig for over three years now, and the job has taught me something new each and every day. Mostly, though, it's taught me that there's a little bit of superhero in each and every one of us. So to each parent out there battling the forces of evil (not to mention stinky diapers), just remember: you may not have the tights and the cape, but you definitely have the vibe.
In addition to being the mom of an energetic three year old princess/superhero/detective/picky eater, Julie Kenner is a former attorney and full-time novelist. Her July release, CARPE DEMON: ADVENTURES OF A DEMON-HUNTING SOCCER MOM has been optioned for film by 1492 Pictures/Warner Brothers, and was recently selected by Booksense as a Summer 2005 Paperback Pick. Visit her website at www.juliekenner.com
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