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10 Ways to Raise a Successful Leader
By Sally Sacks
www.sallysacks.com

Leaders are very influenced by the words and actions of those raising them. Everything that we say and do influences our children. They mirror our actions as we are their first examples of relationships, and of people interacting. We lead our children by showing them how to live in this world, with all their challenges and responsibilities, reasonably and with reduced stress. We demonstrate to them ways to treat others, positive belief systems, fairness, cooperation, and how to manage time and acts of daily living such as personal matters, and school matters. We help them to interact as people, and how to get along in the world.

We can see how easily non-leaders and non productive people/leaders are turned out by my above examples. There are parents that preach fighting and project negative energy amongst themselves daily. There are people that hate and project that onto their children, and lack of fairness and equality. There are parents that don’t have time for their children, or who are absent emotionally or physically, due to their own problems. Obviously these kids will have problems unless they find another more positive leader role model in their lives, and this can happen. This happens all the time. How can you raise a leader? Follow these ten simple steps.

1. Lead by example. Remember you won’t always be the best example, because you are human, but admit mistakes and always keep your responsibility within your awareness.

2. Take charge of things in your life and let your child see you doing this. Work hard, set goals for yourself and follow them. Encourage your child to identify goals and help him/her to attain them.

3. Sponsor activities that your child likes, and give them credit for their knowledge of how to do something. Ask them to teach you something they know and you don’t, like beading, knitting, playing an x box game, etc…

4. Encourage their input into ideas. Ask them what they think about a news event, or a topic of discussion. Allow them to express their point of view, even if it differs from yours.

5. Give them chores/projects to do that make them feel good about their accomplishments. Maybe they can learn to make a soup for dinner, or clean an area of the house, and arrange a room as they would like it. Praise them for their efforts.

6. Let them make decisions about dinner, what they’d like to do on the weekend, where they might like to vacation.

7. Show them how you take charge of situations. If you’re bored, you create something to do. If you are short money you take action to do something about it. You do not let situations bowl you over and render you helpless.

8. Teach your children how to think positively. Teach them how thinking can get negative, and how to insert positive thinking into their mind immediately. This is a skill they will have, and need forever.

9. Show passion, courage and bravery in your own life.

10. Encourage freedom in themselves, to be and express who they are and allow others to do the same, when not putting someone else in harm’s way.

Just remember that you need to teach what you want to see in your children by setting examples by your words and actions. We must be constantly mindful of our actions if we want to raise a leader, be it a leader in our child’s own personal world, or in the world at large. We often may do or say the wrong thing, or a non productive thing, but if we are always mindful of the most productive words and behaviors to use, our kids will have a good chance of succeeding in this challenging world ahead.

Sally Sacks, M.Ed is a licensed psychotherapist, with 20 years of experience, counseling individuals, children, families and couples. Sally is the author of How to Raise the Next President, a groundbreaking parents' guide to teaching and instilling in their kids the qualities they'll need to be happy, successful and productive, no matter which path they choose in life. Sally offers personal and group coaching and can be reached through her website at www.sallysacks.com.

Creating Healthy Boundaries in Stepfamilies
By Sally Sacks
www.sallysacks.com

In order to have a healthy and happy stepfamily you must know the importance of boundaries. Stepfamilies are difficult and many fail, often because the children don’t get along at all. The children may not like a stepparent, or the parents own individual ability to deal with these problems is impaired, one sided, or simply exhausted. All of these factors contribute to the toppling over of the stepfamily.

Here are some examples of how to ease this situation before it gets out of control. Remember that in stepfamilies the kids become siblings, not friends. Siblings want time away from their siblings and don’t want to include them in everything. This is healthy, for kids to have their own friends, interests, and boundaries. In stepfamilies kids may be forced together, because they are in the same proximity each week. One parent may feel that their child, the one visiting should be included in all activities, and the child living in the house all week, may not want that because they are trying to maintain their boundaries and space. Sometimes there is a younger child of one parent, and the other children are older. They might be forced to play with a 5 year old, when they are 12, or be forced to engage in family activities they may not like. This resentment and unhappiness cause the stepfamilies real problems.

Sometimes parents may not see right away how the lack of healthy boundaries affects their children. Here is how to set reasonable and effective boundaries.

1. Make sure if a child is visiting a home, where children live all week, that the visiting child has plans of fun things to do. Don’t rely on children to take care of children. They will become resentful.

2. If children want to play together, just like siblings, that’s fine, but allow time for them to be apart. Some children really have many different interests and need that space. If for example, one child who lives in the home has a plan, let her do that plan alone unless she requests to bring the sibling. Otherwise give her space, unless it is a family time. Set family time.

3. If one child is busy, don’t leave the other child alone. Make a plan for them. They are coming to see their parent, and would probably love to do something one on one. You can share a book. Bowling, a trip to the movies, mall, show, etc… The ideas are limitless.

4. Arrange engagements for all kids with their own individual friends. If it means traveling a distance, travel the distance to set up a sleep over or date. Have one child that is visiting on the weekend invite their friend over, or pick their friend up and go to a movie.

5. Don’t assume because kids are the same age that they constantly want to share clothes, things and be together. Siblings don’t want to do this typically. They are territorial and need their space.

6. Get help to deal with childrens’ emotions around the changes in their lives and routines.

7. If children are having problems traveling between two houses, or changing routines remember that there are many counselors trained to deal with these problems. Children love to have an objective person to talk to.

Remember having a stepfamily, and bonus children can be a wonderful thing. Parents need to work on their own communication and openness with each other, so that they are on the same page. Parents also need to be aware of the individual needs of the children, and be assertive in expressing their own needs to the children and each other. If you can do the work, it can be well worth the price.

How To Raise The Next President
A Parent's Guide To Giving Your Kid The Secrets of Success
by Sally Sacks, M.Ed.

"You can grow up to be President!" No single phrase embodies the American ideal for kids more than those seven words. It challenges and encourages our kids to reach for the stars, make the most out of what they have, and achieve success by hard work, self-confidence, love of amily, and care for their community and country.

At the same time, the phrase embodies many of the attributes adults admire and emulate, such as leadership, motivation, honesty, compassion – in short, everything that makes for a presidential-quality life.

How to Raise the Next President is a groundbreaking parents' guide to teaching and instilling in their kids the qualities they'll need to be happy, successful and productive, no matter which path they choose in life. In this straightforward, easy-to-understand book, Dr. Sacks shows parents how to understand their own childhood experiences, in order to see why they parent the way they do. With this enlightened approach, readers learn to parent more effectively by changing their "inner programming" to encourage their children's emotional growth. Parents learn in this book why everything they do and say affects kids; and the steps to take to raise happier, more confident children. How to Raise the Next President will give parents the opportunity to help their kids to be the absolute best they can be.